Incredible though it may seem, NASA
recently decided that in order for the red planet to be
safe enough to inhabit, it would need to be fortified with
vitamins and iron. With this in mind, they shot another
daft piece of iron at the planet. Obviously, whether it
was technically a piece of iron is debatable, NASA seem
to have enough money to routinely throw all sorts around
in space without much of a care in the world (or any other
world) and so it was probably a solid gold probe with diamond
encrusted solar panels.
intent on proving that they could learn from their mistakes
and learn how to repeat them even more spectacularly than
before the cosmic comedians blasted another probe towards
Martian central and prepared themselves to tune in to Probe
FM.
After a sixth attempt to contact the
probe, NASA decided that it was '...probably hiding behind
mars and sniggering with the other metallic git in some
kind of flamin' sardines game.'
Actually, that wasn't a NASA quote,
I said that. But still, one of the ideas was to be that
the earlier probe that was sent out was to act as a mediator
between NASA and their latest deep space lemming should
talks break down. Unfortunately, the earlier probe was unavailable
for comment.
Also missing were the $30 Million Deep
Space Two (A 'free the Deep Space Two' campaign is inevitable
as soon as the tabloids get wind of it), which were designed
to smash into the Martian soil and then perform some amazing
scientific tasks. For all we know, they could be jumping
through hoops and making soup from the red dust, they just
aren't talking to anyone, except maybe each other, but isn't
that twins for you.
Still, the idea of a spacecraft smashing into a planet
and then performing delicate scientific tasks is obviously
a stupid idea and not the sort of mistake that anyone would
make twice.
Come to think of it, NASA may be adopting a long term
strategy in order to save on rocket fuel. Within a few
years the pile of crashed probes on mars will be so tall
that it will reach the moon and so astronauts will be able
to fly to the lunar surface and walk it from there.
Maybe NASA should drop the line
from their recruitment ad that reads- 'Anyone welcome, come
on, it's hardly rocket science.'
