Several homeless people living on the Thames are planning to sue magician David Blaine for infringement of copyright. Citing the fact that they have been living in boxes under Tower Bridge with no proper food for years, they are are seeking renumeration from Mr. Blaine for loss of earnings.

David Blaine has also announced two new events he has planned for the future.

The first event is due to commence next year. Beginning on the 1st January 2004, Blaine will be stood upon a huge platform in the middle of Trafalgar Square. Suspended high above him will be a large arrow-shaped sign reading 'Everyone look at me, I'm David Blaine.' He will stand here every day for a full year and go completely without doing anything useful, productive or remotely clever during the entire stunt. His close family have expressed concerns about the event, as experts have confirmed that, within the first few weeks, there is high chance that most people will realise what a waste of space he is.

Not content with amazing gullible people in life, Blaine has also announced plans for a stunt he wants enacted after his death. Once dead, Blaine wishes his family to seal him in a solid wooden box and bury him six feet under the ground. He plans to stay like this with no food or water forever. Channel 4 will place live cameras at the scene of the burial just to see if anyone really cares.