We stock many different types of snow at our snow processing plant, but the seven major varieties we specialise in are listed below.
Our most popular nationality of snow by far. People used to get sent to Siberia as a punishment. Now you can get sent some of Siberia as a special treat. One of the largest areas on Earth, much of it still not fully explored, this is a mystical and beautifully bleak landscape. It is cold and harsh in winter and produces real hardcore snow.
Our most exclusive and expensive product. Within the Siberian range we offer this very exotic and beautiful product. After a comet exploded over the area in 1908, Tunguska has seen accelerated growth among the flora that grow here. This is cosmically enhanced snow and so it comes at a cosmically enhanced price. But it is worth the price. It has the most lovely subtle blue shimmer to it.
Unfortunately we are currently unable to describe our Arctic snow range due to an ongoing legal dispute between our Arctic suppliers and our Himalayan suppliers. The Arctic suppliers had alleged that their snow was snow from the top of the world and the Himalayan suppliers felt that as they had exclusive access to the highest point on Earth that this claim was more rightfully theirs.
Other than that, all we can say is that its cold and white just like all our snow.
There isn't any battle being fought over the claim to be snow from the bottom of the Earth. But no client should be put off by the pure simplistic beauty that is Antarctic snow... nor should any client be put off by the massive shipping costs involved in getting the product out in the first place.
Admittedly, not a beginner's choice for any Inuit starting out in snow buying.
We should point out that for transparency reasons we have to make it clear that our Himalayan suppliers are unable to harvest the snow from the very top of Everest. What bearing this has on the marketing message for this product is now in the hands of the lawyers.
The Himalayas are of course the home of the Yeti and so snow from this region could well have that added Yetiness to it. Though the various ways in which the Yeti might have added to the snow are not really worth thinking about and so we’ll just have to await the court verdict before we say anything further on this product.
Although we do retain smaller samples of country specific snow from the EU, due to the smaller volumes available at supply, we generally amalgamate all these into one European product. And in each batch you get that unique European mix of culture and je ne sais quoi.
Oh, but you don’t get any Swiss. This must be ordered separately.
The Swiss will not allow themselves to get mixed up with other Europeans and so we have to sell this one separately. They are very efficient in their delivery and their snow has a very peaceful feel to it, without meaning to sound cheesy.
